Adoption....an old post that needs reposting

Please forgive the following emotional rant.

Adoption is forever. It is a choice that a family makes intentionally, and can never be an accident. Adoption can be a first choice when starting a family, it doesn't have to be seen as a second choice or a last resort. It doesn't have to be seen as something that people do when they can't get pregnant or can't carry a pregnancy to term. It can and should be seen as simply a way of building a family. Building a family through love and acceptance, patience and growth. Adoption is a miracle in and of itself, and speaks volumes about the deep love that parents, both birth and adoptive, feel for their children. Adoption does not come with a guarantee of any kind. There is a feeling among some that it is a "satisfaction guaranteed" type of process, as if you get to hand pick a child that is somehow better than the others or somehow more perfect. There is apparently a feeling among some that adoptive parents have the right to return a child who they feel is not perfect or better than the others. As if they can return a pet that they bought and no longer play with, in an attempt to find another that is more suited to their family.


What is more incredible is that no one ever seems to sensationalize the fact that biological children have adjustment issues, behavioral issues, and severe physical issues that present challenges to their biological parents. I get asked frequently, "do you worry she will have, you know, problems because she is adopted??" My answer is and always will be NO. No, I don't worry she will have problems because she is adopted. I worry that she will have problems because she is a human. She is a child. She will be a teenager. She will be an adult one day. In a world that is difficult to survive in. These are the reasons I worry she will have problems. Not the sheer fact that she was adopted. Yes, adoption brings a special set of qualities into the relationship between parent and child, but it is not a recipe for problems down the road. My next favorite question is "will you tell her she is adopted??" Even if I considered NOT telling her....is there a chance that she wouldn't notice that she is of a different race? I will always be proud of how Emma came into our lives and she will know from day one in our home that she came to us by the miracle of adoption.


Last but not least, in my emotional rant that has been building in my heart for quite some time. Emma Grace is our child. One more time....with emphasis. Emma Grace is OUR OWN child. I hope that people mean well when they ask...."are you ever going to have children of your own". That question may be "meant well" but it hurts more than anything I have ever felt. Please read carefully....there is no way on this earth that either my husband or I could have fought any harder or struggled and invested any more of ourselves into this process. We have given every bit of love and strength and patience, cried many tears and fought many battles to bring this baby girl into our lives. If that is not "our own" then there is no such thing.

Good News!!!!

No, it isn't our travel call, but it is a close second!!!! We finally heard today that Emma was submitted for EP on June 23!!!! We have been waiting/worrying/stressing/freaking out over this step of the process so just being submitted is HUGE! The best part...I know two families who were also submitted in the group, and they received word of approval already. Groups are approved "all at once" so my best guess? Yep, Emma's got her EP already!! From EP approval, they estimate 2-4 weeks to travel, so we could be holding our beautiful daughter in 2-4 weeks time! Today was an amazingly wonderful day, and my heart is so thankful for this great news. I am praying and hopeful as August comes this weekend that it is our month for travel!!!! We are coming sweet girl, Momma and Daddy are coming!

Wordless Wednesday

Teach Me Something Tuesday-History of Adoption in South Korea

So, we are adopting from South Korea. Lots of people have heard of Korean adoptees and Korean adoption, even older generations remember when babies were brought from Korea during and immediately after the Korean Conflict. Initially, babies considered "mixed race" were available for adoption; these were babies predominately fathered by US soldiers stationed in Korea and born to Korean women who were unwed. There were so many babies and children that orphanages began filling up and overcrowding, and western groups formed in an effort to give these babies a chance at a family.

Adoption from South Korea to the US began in 1955 when Harry Holt, from Eugene, Oregon, adopted eight war orphans from Korea. His work and mission has been followed by Holt International Children's Services. The first Korean babies sent to Europe went to Sweden via the Social Welfare Society in the mid 1960s. For the next decade, most of the children adopted from Korea were fathered by American soldiers who served in the Korean war. But Amerasians, or "mixed race" babies and children, presently account for fewer than 1% of adoptees. (Rothschild, The Progressive, 1988).

Today, four agencies exist in Korea to provide adoptive services. Holt is the largest, then there is Eastern, SWS (Social Welfare Society) and KSS (Korea Social Services). Each of these agencies partner with specific US agencies to provide services to potential adoptive parents here in the US. Our agency in the US is Catholic Charities of Baltimore, which partners with Holt.

Babies are placed in the care of foster families while they await placement with their forever family. I can't speak for other agencies, but Holt in Korea also has a small place called the "Reception Center", which can house 10 babies, and some babies stay there for a few days until a foster family is found, and some stay there permanently with one-on-one caregivers until placement.

I tend to post so much about what we are doing now and our process, I thought it might be cool to post about how all of this got started and a little background. Not too bad for my first Teach Me Something Tuesday I guess!

Waiting....

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

These words might look familiar....it's the song playing probably right now as you read this post. Well, it's one of the songs that is getting me through this wait. Today is Monday. Mondays are the best days for those of us waiting. It brings the promise of a new week, a full five days with the potential for good news. A full five days for progress, for something to happen. So far, this particular Monday has not brought any news. But there is still a couple of hours left. And four more days...in the meantime? Yep...worship and serve. And, true, it is not easy, and it is painful, however I am peaceful that good news will come in time.

Say it with me Saturday

I'm officially making Saturdays "Say it with me Saturday" with new Korean vocabulary. So here goes our first one!!

"Mommy" in Korean is 엄마

It is pronounced "oh-ma" and is used mostly by children referring to their Mom. Adults usually use a more formal form of the word to refer to their mothers.

"Daddy" in Korean is 아빠

It is pronounced "ah-pah" and again, is usually used by children for their Dad. There is also a more formal form for adult children speaking to their father.
"Daughter" in Korean is 딸

It is pronounced "tal" with much emphasis on the "t" sound

"I love you" in Korean is 사랑해요

It is pronounced "Sa-rang-hae-yo"

Yay!! Simple words, but they are soooo important to us right now!

Javier and Emily's First Trip to Korea

These are pictures from our first trip to Korea, in December of 2009. We did not yet know about Emma, but wanted to get a sense of the culture and traditions of her birth country. We were actually able to renew our wedding vows in a traditional Korean wedding ceremony, which is the first two pictures! Hope you enjoy!