Celebrations!!

One year ago our phone rang and we saw this sweet face for the first time....

Six months ago we were newly home from Korea with that same sweet baby....

We have officially been home six months!!!

OK so the pic above is from December....but I haven't had a chance to download the ones from my camera from more recent photo sessions. I promise more updated pics are coming soon!!!

Emma continues to do well and is growing and changing every minute. We are still working very hard on attachment, as she is still showing signs of anxiety and lately seems to be "anticipating loss". I know that sounds odd, and so many people have said to us "how can she be worried about sadness and loss, she is with you guys and has everything a baby could want". In her tiny life, she has lost so much, and although her young brain does not process it in the way adults would (like thinking, "wow I miss my Foster Mom. I miss Korea. I'm sad") she does, and will for some time, react in such a way that expresses fear and anxiety over the absence or feared absence of a person (usually me) or an activity. She tends to get very anxious and fearful if we sit in the rocking chair and there is no bottle in sight. She also gets anxious when I am talking with other women who try to show her attention. I can only assume that she is fearing I am about to give her to the woman and disappear forever, just as her birth mother and two foster mothers did. It is a work in progress. As many books as I read, as many classes as I went to, and as many other adoptive Mommas as I talked to, nothing can prepare you for witnessing your child go through what will be one of her greatest traumas and losses in life. Nothing can prepare you for the grief, anxiety and sadness these babies and children experience. I do everything I can to reassure her that I am here, and that I will always "come back" (even if it is just from the bathroom...) and we definitely have more good days than bad, more good nights than bad, and more happy moments than sad.

In other updates, we are on the fast track to finalization!! Our supporting documents have been given to the lawyer and filed with the parish juvenile court system, so we are just waiting to hear when our "day in court" will be! We will go and meet the judge, our social worker, the lawyer, and hear those wonderful words that our adoption is final and she is legally OURS forever!!! I'm pretty sure tears will flow....just a guess :) Pictures will be taken, Emma will be all dolled up in something adorable, and we can celebrate another HUGE milestone!!

But wait....there's more! Paperwork, that is. LOL It never, ever ends! Once I get the adoption decree in my hands, it is time to apply for her Social Security Number, her Passport, and her Certificate of Citizenship! None of those happen automatically....Momma here has to do paperwork first, and get the ball rolling. The passport is so she can jet back to Korea with us to pick up Baby Brother ;) Did I say that??

Thank you for all of your prayers....it has been an eventful year since we first laid eyes on the referral picture of our daughter, and an even more eventful 6 months since she was handed to us at Holt Korea that afternoon in September. We love her more than life itself and some days just can't believe she has been home this long. :)

Love,

Emily