Teach Me Something Tuesday...

....is being replaced this week. I can't wrap my brain around anything remotely educational or anything unrelated to our baby girl and what we are waiting on.

After talking to our social worker and letting her know that the EP group that Emma was submitted with had already received approval, I get an email saying that as far as they know, we have NOT been approved. ??? Yet, in the same email, is an explanation that babies are submitted and approved as groups, and they all go in and come out together. Yep, explain that one to me please. She isn't approved, but they approve groups, and the group she was with is approved, but she isn't? Something is not adding up here...and my brain is overloaded and tired trying to figure this out.

All I know is that we are truly getting close. We may be closer than everyone thinks depending on what comes of this EP situation. If we really were approved with the rest of the group, like I am PRAYING we were....we are possibly days away from our call. If we were not approved, but perhaps get approval this week, we are only 2-4 weeks away from our call. Either way, praise God we are almost there. It is always the last few feet of the race that are the hardest. Out of breath, with aching legs and that nagging "side stitch" cramp, you can see the finish line but can't imagine getting there. You wonder what it will feel like to cross it and actually get to the other side. To sit down. To get water to drink. That is where I am right now. I am staring at a half-packed suitcase and a silent phone, willing it to ring and bring me the news. I am staring at a picture of a baby girl who is on the "other side" of our finish line. I am out of patience with an aching heart and a nagging feeling of desperation. I can't imagine my phone will ever ring, that I will ever zip that suitcase and roll it out the front door, or that I will ever be preparing to board a plane bound for South Korea. I can't imagine the feeling of leaving our house for the last time as two....and coming home as three.

As I truly do head for the final stretch...please pray that I find grace and strength to wait just a little bit longer and do so with some (small) shred of dignity. Pray that our EP approval is found, and that it is more like days instead of weeks. Pray that Emma stays healthy and happy while with her Foster Family for the last few weeks of their time together.

Most of all, pray that I hold it together and don't board a plane for Seoul and sleep in a box on the street outside of the agency until they call and tell me she is ready. I wouldn't put it past me at this point. :)