Fun Day and Reflections....

I'll put it out there. We had an awesomely fun day today. One month
ago, you could not have convinced me with all of the money in the
world that we would have had so much fun today. One month ago, I was
on a plane with a screaming baby who I could not see ever having a
normal moment with, much less having FUN with! One month ago I was a
long way from where I am now. Not to say there isn't always progress
to be made, especially on my behalf, but it's nice to know how far we
have come.

Today we woke up early, packed stuff for a whole day, and went out on
the town! Javier had to spend a little time at work this morning, so
Emma and I dropped him off and had some girl time together. We brought
the jogging stroller and parked on the LSU campus and strolled around
campus for a couple of hours. We saw Mike the Tiger, ate a snack under
the oak trees, strolled the Quad where Mommy and Daddy used to go to
school (how old did THAT make me feel...) and enjoyed the beautiful
weather. Oh, and Mommy had to break into a building to use the
bathroom. Pulling a stroller up the stairs (seriously LSU, no ramps?).
Oh and Mommy lost her iPhone. But by the grace of God alone it was
still face down halfway in the street on South Stadium Drive when I
flew back 30 minutes later to look for it. It is a miracle no one ran
over it. I had already started to formulate what I was going to tell
Javier. It started something like this..."Emma is fine. I did NOT
leave the baby in the street. However..." but it didn't have to come
to that.

After sweating the near death of my phone, and all associated
cell-usage privileges, we stopped off to let Em see the birds at the
vet school, change clothes, and off to lunch and the MALL! Mommy's
fave! Em did great until nap time. She had really put up with us
hauling her from store to store and finally had a fit. So we checked
out and strapped her in to the carseat....and less than 5 minutes she
was out like a light. Just as any good Mom and Dad would do, we drove
all over creation for an hour and a half so she could nap. :) we drove
to get ice cream (ate it in the car no doubt), drove by our old
apartment (nostalgia again), and drove by the neighborhood Gymboree to
scope out classes to take the kiddo to. She woke up all smiles, we hit
Old Navy for an oh-so-adorable coat for her (can you say tiny red
peacoat? I thought you could) and home we went. Now she sleeps.

When we got home, the books I ordered (for all of my spare time....)
had come in. There is a book called I Wish For You A Beautiful
Life....it is a collection of letters written by actual birthmothers
in Korea to their babies who were placed for adoption. The letters
include some of the reasons babies were placed for adoption, the story
of the birthmothers labor and delivery, but mostly just talk about all
of the things these women want for the babies they have placed for
adoption. I started reading it and cannot stop. These letters are so
simple, so beautiful, and I realize more than ever the gift that I
have been given by this woman who lives on the other side of the
world. Will I ever get to thank her? I hope so. I do plan to write to
her, and send the letter to the agency in Korea to be placed in Emma's
file. They will not send it to her, but they will leave it in her file
if her birthmother comes to request it. I want her to have peace, if
possible, with her decision. To know how much we love Emma and how
thankful we are to her for her selfless decision. I think about her
more and more as we near Emma's birthday. I know in my heart that her
birthmother is thinking of her, wondering about her. I can't imagine
how she feels now, or how she felt when Emma was born. I can't imagine
what it is to feel that pain and loss. But I will always make sure
Emma knows how much she is loved by this woman, and by me.

What a day.

--
Emily Nevarez