Some Days...

....I just feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. After spending so long wanting and waiting and wishing to be a Mom, I thought sure I'd have more instinct than this. Of course, I have to cut myself some slack (which is NOT easy for me to do)...I was in the hospital last week. I spend a week doped up and out of touch with my normal life, which equates to a week without caring for Emma. I don't think it really affected her attachment very much. She only seemed a little confused this Monday morning when I came into her room to get her up instead of Daddy or Grammy. It was a look of "where the heck have YOU been?"

I do feel like it set me back a little from my attachment to her. I am also still very physically tired and drained, and only today am back to a pretty regular diet. That was not how I wanted to drop pounds, let me tell you. So, the toll of sickness strikes again, but I'm hoping we can rebound quickly. We had a pretty good "groove" going, a great routine, and we were really starting to have fun together. I just keep reminding myself that it is a process, and a very dynamic one at that.

We are having Emma's Tol Party on Sunday. We wanted to have a really big party, but with all of the sickness floating around we had to REALLY scale it back. She had such an upheaval with multiple caregivers last week that we decided it was best to not introduce even more chaos into her life by way of 50 people coming over all at once. But, I will post pictures, and hopefully everyone can enjoy her birthday party that way. Once we settle down (again) we will be back on the visiting wagon and everyone who hasn't met her yet, we will get together with you soon! I promise!!